Dear Death: The first lesson in Rethinking Happiness:

Few years ago I decided to write some thoughts I had in the form of letters. The opening of the very first letter I found myself writing without any hesitation were: Dear Death.

As shocked as you might be, I was. Surprised about this choice I realized what thoughts in our mind keep running in the background, how powerful they are in shaping who we are and how they can surface once you pick a pen and paper and let the flow take over.

Surprisingly, when I started the Positive Psychology course with Stanford this year, guess what was the opening class discussion about Rethinking Happiness?

Awareness of our Mortality! This is what I wrote in the discussion which turned out to be very similar to the letter: (Course related lines were removed):

Losing dad at the age of 1 (he was 29 years old) was an opportunity to explore life and death topics pretty early in life, I became aware of the fact: Death is inevitable, anytime, anywhere regardless of how or with whom life is spent. 

With this understanding and processing the fear of the unknown (When, how and what happens next), one can accept his/her own mortality & maybe grief the death of the self while alive which can be very helpful to move forward instead of the denial and trying to runaway from it in many forms such as resisting aging, panicking during a pandemic, chasing pleasures of life to physical and mental exhaustion without a sense of "enough".

Once the fear of the unknown is processed through acceptance, one can slow down, enjoy life's big and small moments with gratitude, , explore while possible and be prepared for what the next phase of the journey (Whatever we choose to believe is next).

The reminders of death we encounter constantly, when pursuing the pleasures of life consume us, help us try to find the balance between living and enjoying life with the awareness of how close death can be, if we pay attention to these reminders.

In the book Life after Death by Deepak Chopra which I find compelling and relatable for people with different backgrounds and beliefs because it approaches the topic through both science and spirituality, death is as a step towards the next phase which can be different scenarios to different people. Death is no longer viewed as a ghost that is hunting us down.

An interesting part of the book is explaining how we can choose what we want our afterlife to be (whether it’s nothing, heaven, hell, sleeping or reincarnation..) by choosing how to live and what to believe.

A class mate asked in this discussion: "The great question is how can you have positive emotions while remembering about the death?" I had to conclude all the thoughts to answer.

The underlying question to me was how are these thoughts expressed as actions? What do we make of these thoughts in our day to day life?

I replied: "It is a great question indeed, I believe remembering death is exactly what makes some of us enjoy this life experience. I use this reminder when I find myself upset, all of sudden the whole drama shrinks or vanishes then I move on to work on a solution" and sometimes I decide to do absolutely nothing about a situation.

I continued "I feel lucky to practice one of the traditions that reminds me of death and being grateful regularly. (Five times a day) 

Our set of beliefs or our perception of death contribute to how we decide to approach life".

Do you know that we choose what to believe? Choose mindfully.

Here are few interesting quotes on life with the awareness of death I chose to believe:

Everything is honored but nothing matters. - Eckhart Tolle 

Nothing Real can be threatened. Nothing threatened can be real. - Eckhart Tolle 

Work for this world as if you will live forever and work for the Hereafter as if you will die tomorrow. - Prophet Mohammad