Poor Love: He/She does not love me anymore | Part 2

Imagine if your name is Whohaha :) and the word whohaha has no meaning. Not very impressive name right?

Now if I tell you whohaha in Sanskrit means "the noble", would that sound better? or maybe "the unique", how about that?

But does that name make you noble or unique in reality? Is that name you?

Note: I do not know if the word whohahah exists in any language :)

- The language when used to describe a thing, a state or a concept is neither identical to the thing itself nor it is the thing such as your name & who you are or "love" word & what you are feeling.. etc.

For example, the word sky is not the sky itself. If you call it Sama (in Arabic) it is still the same thing up there but different name. Now imagine life without any language and look at the sky again without naming it (or at any other object you can see currently like your device or you in the mirror). It's challenging for your brain to detach the name but it's also fun & you might be surprised at how you see the same thing differently.

What I am trying to say is that words have the meanings we attach to them - If you know the actual thing, the sky, the true person you love, the true feeling in the first place, it doesn't matter what they're called, you have a deeper knowing of it and deeper connection with it, this applies to love and the person you think you love.

How does that apply to the word LOVE, let's see:

Let's remove the word love from the dictionary for a while. Can your feelings still exist? Can you still experience that state without naming it? - I hope you do :)

The name of the state you know as (love) is replaced with a different type of knowing, it is the knowing by experience not the mental one so you do not submit to what is called love by others or what is supposed to be love or what looks like love, you experience it your own way. You immerse in it. If you love pets or babies, it might be helpful to try and recall how you feel around pets or babies who do not have a mental perception of love, they can only respond to your energy and physiological signs. You lose self-consciousness. Pets who connect well to their owners become very similar to their owners. (My shadow in the photo).

This can feel very weird to grasp but once you do it's mind blowing.

Now imagine, you will never see the person you love again, he/she can offer you nothing at all - would you still love that person?

When each of you is sitting on a sofa not talking, can you look at that person and experience your feeling without naming them anything? Now if you try to name it afterwards, you might use a different word such as: peace, joy, disappointment, distance, anger, belonging..etc.

You don't love me anymore.. Where did that love go?

Back to the name example: Tuleen is my name not me (or whohaha or whatever). If I change it tomorrow on all documents, I would still be the same person, right?

- If I am loved for my name, what will happen to that love once I've changed it?

Am I still loved the same way just like you saw the same sky after you called it Sama?

- If I am loved for the image I crafted, what happens when I can't maintain it?

Am I still loved for who I truly am? Do you know who I truly am?

- If I am loved because I make you feel better, what happens when I am not feeling well myself? Are you willing to help me feel better?

- If I am loved for who I truly am, this never goes away. I should dare to show you who I truly am, all of me.

If 2 people are attracted to each other with different understanding/meaning of love but due to their similar lifestyle, for example, they both meet each other's expectations/needs, they both interpret it as being loved but what happens if one or both of them decide to change their lifestyle? their job? their house?

How can these 2 relate to each other? What if they lost everything? Would they stay together?

You might instead ask was love there in the first place? Did I love the person or the expectation/needs (s)he met (whether it's physical, emotional, social or financial)?

What is my priority, love or my needs?

If love is there, how can you overcome the changes?

What does the word Love mean?

- Words (Consequence of different sounds that we gave them shapes when we started writing), are what we agreed to use to find common ground to point to what we sense and experience as closely as possible but the words are not the feeling or the experience itself..

The linguistic definition of love and whether the source of it is neurons firing love hormones and neurotransmitters or souls meeting is NOT the same as what you are experiencing.

Love as a word describes a state of being:

- mentally (our thoughts, expectations, past experiences, needs, responsibilities, commitment, vulnerability..etc that shape the meaning).

- physiologically (levels and combinations of hormones controlling heart beats, blood pressure, pupil dilution, head tilts and beautiful smiles, sexual drive, stomach butterflies..etc).

- on energy exchange level (behavior: receptive, giving, cooperative, forgiving, protective, controlling, defensive..etc.)

When we experience these states, others can sense the physiological and energy exchange effects on us (like pets and babies) but unlike pets they relate to our 3 states or assume (interpret our love) through their own meaning/perception based on their own past experiences and expectations. It's not necessarily 100% same as ours. Can be 1%, 10%, 90% or 99% but we all call it the same, love. (No right or wrong here)

Me too

- This is where language looks like helping us understand each other but in reality it causes the confusion if we are not aware of our differences (experiences & perceptions), of the limitation of language itself in describing a vast existence with all the ever changing events . Add to this if we do not have the same linguistic capabilities.

This is why lovers, friends, family members get disappointed if they trust the language when they say or hear "I Love You" but they do not discuss what it means to them. Instead, it's a "Me Too" response.

To understand this, clarity is needed on what do you mean when you tell him: I Love You? What do you think he meant when he said he loves you? (Next blog)